Would You Like Kim chi With That?

Today on the radio they had the French chef from a locally famous restaurant. He is a very entertaining guy, and he clearly LOVES food in many forms. Since he is a semi-regular guest on the show they have a segment wherein people call and list the contents of their fridge. His challenge is to figure out some tasty recipes to use up the ingredients Of course the people who call in are usually "foodies" so they say things like "I have five Vidalia onions, a leg of lamb on the bone, and three heads of radicchio, and some nice fresh duck fat." He is normally very good at this, but today there was a special list. A man called in with a very strange and limited collection of ingredients that included (if I'm remembering correctly) some "older" Kim chi, eight cups of uncooked white rice, packaged lunch meat, red bell pepper, shredded cheese, and mustard. Instead of just saying "ewww" go shopping he made up a recipe for rice cakes made with little bits of lunchmeat, cheese, and mustard. He suggested the Kim chi would make a nice bed for this concoction and warned the caller not to let the rice get over-done. I don't think any amount of cooking could save this one. Yuck.