We were surprised (and touched) to be seated in the family pew with M's aunt and uncle, and it gave us an incredible view of the proceedings. I don't think I've attended a seriously Christian wedding (I'm sorry, but Christian-light is a whole different experience) since I was a very tiny child, so much of the ritual was foreign to me. I was later informed that we were watching the Lutheran equivalent of high mass, so the service included hymns, a homily, a number of prayers and readings, and Holy Communion for all comers. We kept watching everyone else to know when we should rise, say certain things, look prayerful (or respectfully silent).
I am not a Christian. I do not pretend to be a Christian, and most of the time this is not much of a problem. The more rational portions of the world at large are accepting of the fact that not everyone follows Christianity. However, many people do seem to have this idea that everyone will sort of automatically know the ins and outs of Christian ritual. I do not know these rituals at all because I am (say it with me now) NOT A CHRISTIAN. Sorry to get strident, but I feel I understand a little of what it must be like to be a Jew, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist etc. in this country.
The issue of Holy Communion had me panicking. The priest announced that all baptized people in the church were welcome to come up, and that the bride and groom would serve as chalice-bearers for the wine (or blood depending on your views). I suddenly did not know what to do! M's family are dear, sweet people, and I did not want to offend them. However, the priest was very clear about the baptism part, and also I'm not comfortable doing such a ritual. Better still, he had the people coming up one row at a time. This meant that when M and I stayed seated instead of going up, the whole church was looking at us and waiting for us to move! Fortunately, Uncle J., in the row behind us, understood quite quickly, and shoved his family out to go up to the alter. M and I just sat and smiled vaguely. I'm still hoping his aunt and uncle weren't offended.
All this said, it was a beautiful wedding. The bride and groom both seemed so happy, and there is not doubt that their families were pretty ecstatic as well. The flowers were a lovely combination of roses and rosehips (to add a fall touch and great texture), and the stained glass windows of the church made everything glow. M and I certainly got some great ideas for our own wedding. However, I think we'll skip the hymns and communion for our ceremony.
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