Our extended family is currently going through a crisis. Okay that might be over-stating things just a tiny bit, but at least we're engaging in a debate. The issue? Christmas. Not the holiday as a whole, I think everyone is pretty much in favor of that, but the question of gift-giving. The brothers and I (and M too actually) all grew up with the idea that Christmas was, well, a time of plenty. In other words, there was always and excess of special treats, an excess of decorations, and an excess of presents. We (I hope I can speak for them) enjoyed things to the hilt. Christmases were absolutely magic.
As a grown up I have always wanted to recreate such feelings. Now that I have a child I would very much like for her to have a holiday as wonderful as mine. However, not everyone in our family feels this way. Some point out that the crass commercialism of it all is neither healthy nor charming, and that if we want to truly appreciate each other on Christmas we would do it without so many (any?) gifts. I can absolutely understand the point, but I still can't pry myself away from the desire to shower people with goodies. I still love the pile of beautiful presents underneath the tree, and that is a pale shadow of how much I loved the scene when I was a kid.
Couldn't we all agree to bump up or charitable giving, buy nothing in January, or do some volunteering to contribute to the greater good? That way we could still have our Christmas and eat it too. I know the one thing does not cancel out the other, and I also know that I'm starting to sound whiney and shrill, but this is an issue that causes me a certain amount of angst. If you celebrate, where does your family fall on the festive vs. frugal spectrum?
4 comments:
We always resolve to be more restrained, and then go completely crazy... :-D
everymoment
You are a very generous person, and you have wonderful Christmas memories, and yet you're very practical and try not to waste things, so I can see why you are struggling with the whole concept.
As for my family, We go crazy! My aunt and uncle especially - they always have lots of delightful presents for me to open and always one big showstopper (a huge peacock feather wreath one year, an incredibly expensive black-and-roses silk nightgown I wore only for myself because no man deserved to see its wonderfulness, and a pair of earrings last year).
But I've been trying to convince family members to tone it down a bit, since we all have more than we need.
I'll get my aunt an intriguing book and pretty calendar this year, but I hesitate on the fancy candle she might or might not like the scent of. The $38 I would spend on that luxury candle would buy a pair of much needed Dockers pants for my adopted boy. And the $26 I spend on a spy-thriller hardback and pray my dad hasn't read it yet, could buy a fantastic soft, colorful pair of gloves for both my girls.
I'm intending to go crazy and shower baby C this year since she isn't big enough to know any different. When she's a few years older I have to calm down and only treat her to a few things at Christmas so her auntie doesn't spoil her! Those will be sad times!
Christmas was never really "our" holiday, so as kids, we got the "token" version: One toy for each of us, plus one "big" item for both of us to enjoy together. (The word "big" being a relative term here.) We enjoyed the holiday regardless, because we knew our parents loved us.
I should add that along with the gift craziness, we try to provide a sense of the spirit of the season--family time, why we give each other gifts (love!), plus a bit of pagan wossname, that this is the darkest time of the year and we have lights, candles, fires, etc, to remind us that spring will return. A bit of a mish-mash, but hopefully providing something more than the crass commercialism.
everymoment
Post a Comment