I recently overheard a conversation in which a mother of a maybe one year old baby described her attempts at discipline. The child is not even walking yet, but she was concerned that she nip problems "in the bud" before it became a major concern. It seems that her baby has been doing all sorts of very troubling things such as throwing food on the ground, wiggling while being dressed, and trying to pull things of table tops. Shocking I know! Did you ever meet a baby who did such aweful things?! It gets worse.
At a loss for how to stop her, she talked to her sister who suggested smacking. Yes, smacks were proscribed to cure wiggling. She tried smacking the next time she did something wrong, but she just laughed. Then she decided that she needed to "study" how much force it would take for her to stop laughing. Every time she did something naughty, she hit the baby a little bit harder until finally she seemed to "notice." At last, she got her baby to cry! Success!
I just cringed when I heard all this. Whacking my child has never seemed like an option to me. I spend so much time trying to avoiding her coming to harm that I can't imagine causing it on purpose. I also don't think a one year old child is capable of understanding why they are being smacked. Sure, they may learn that certain behaviors result in pain, but if they don't get why then it doesn't really work. Maybe when my child is older I will feel the need to spank her, but so far it just seems barbaric to me.
I really do believe that children model everything they see us do. I know this because I've watched her "brush" her teeth, "read" magazines, and want to try every bit of food on our plates. Why should we think that this one area, hitting, would be different? If I use force and pain to get what I want in life, why shouldn't she do the same?
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