The Lure of the Spring Garden

Lately, the garden's been calling my name. Especially when the sun shines, I really want to get out there and enjoy the smell of the dirt and the new green plants. However, this year I'm a bit preoccupied. The baby needs really really a lot of my time, and it just doesn't work to go outside to work for a few hours. There is a saving grace though. Without my bossy self out there, M has stepped up to do some plant husbandry. It turns out he's quite good in the veggie department especially. We have cunning little radishes pushing up their heads, lettuce leaving going wild, and even a few tomatoes begining to show a few flowers. We may have a decent garden yet. If summer weather ever arrives that is.

Sleeping is Easy

In the before times, I used to be a picky sleeper. First, it had to be very dark. I couldn't stand the flickering of technology, the glow from a hall light, or even an overly bright clock face. I also wanted just the right combination of blankets, sheets, and pillow. How could a person sleep comfortably with the wrong kind of pillow? Then there was sound. Ambulances, the cat, and a snoring husband all had the potential to ruin a perfectly lovely sleep.

Now, however, things have changed. Sleep can be such the elusive unicorn that I will take it in almost any form. I can now sleep in chairs, on sofas, or in any sliver of space that happens to be available. Lights, sounds, lumps, and bumps all have little or no impact on my ability to snooze. Only the sounds of the baby have me instantly awake.

I'm not the only one. The other night M got into bed while I was still in the rocking chair feeding the baby. He said "goodnight" to us, laid his head down on the pillow, and was snoring in three minutes flat. Let's just hope that when the depravation is over, we can figure out how to sleep like normal people again.

Three Weeks Old

Wow! I can't believe it's been three weeks since she was born. In a way it seems like a lifetime ago, but it could also have been the blink of an eye. Time definitely turns on its head when you have a newborn. At three weeks Baby C. is well past her nasty turn with jaundice. She is eating very well (she nursed for over an hour last night!) and I expect her weight to be up quite a bit when we have our next doctor visit.

She's also just getting a lot stronger already. She makes huge stretches and seems to be flexing and testing all her muscles. She's also in much greater control over herself, and she really really would like to be able to hold up her own head. Her cries are changing too. At the beginning, she had the mewing cry like a very small kitten. Now she's moved on to a lustier, louder version that can't fail to draw attention. She has many wonderful tricks, but one of the most impressive is the way she uses her fists to hold the pacifier in her mouth. She's clearly the most precious and talented baby that ever there was.

First Mothers Day

What a lovely way to spend my very first Mothers' Day. It was the first really warm, sunny day in ages, and my elder brother invited us to his house for brunch. We carpooled with my mom across the water. This was a day where all the mountains were perfectly visible in every direction. Brunch was cooked by L, and we all had to have second helpings because it was so good. Finally, for the end of the day we went for a walk around our neighborhood. Baby C. is, without a doubt, the best kind of gift any person could receive.

Getting Over Jaundice

I have this theory about having babies that everyone pays their proverbial dues at some point along the way. Some people having trouble getting pregnant, others endure very difficult pregnancies, while still more have long, painful, or even dicey deliveries. That is why I should not have been surprised when my wonderful pregnancy and comparatively easy delivery gave way to the ugliness of jaundice. I know, I know, as baby problems go, jaundice is really not very bad. However, for us it was the darkest time, and one that I won't soon forget.

The image of her first heel stick in the doctor's office is one. She was too dehydrated to bleed properly and had to be stuck a second time. I swear watching that occur was more painful for me than anything that happened to my body during the delivery. I also remember her first night strapped to the light bed. I sat in the chair next to her, breast pump in hand, and tried to express milk that was not there. I cried more than she did that night.

I am certain much of this hard time was due to my own hormones. Still, there is something very singular about having a baby. You love them so much that it literally hurts sometimes. I think it was my friend K who said it is like learning to live with your heart outside your body. The tough part is that it leaves your heart very much exposed to bumps and bruises that would not normally have been a problem. My mom has pointed out more than once that the baby herself will not remember any of this, and I certainly hope this is true.

So here we are in the after times. I am pleased to say that her jaundice is almost completely gone, and she is now much happier and more energetic. Her color is much closer to roses than bananas these days, and she has surpassed her birth weight. It helps very much that my milk came in during her time on the photo therapy bed, so I was finally able to feed her and feed her and feed her as much as she would take. It does my mommy heart good to see her so much better, and I really, really hope we've now paid our dues for the foreseeable future. Regular life never seemed so sweet.