Friday, May 01, 2009

Excuse Me M'am May I See Your Pass?

One thing you realize really quickly in teaching is the need to wear many different hats in a given day. The hat I like the least is probably the police helmet. Part of our time is spent keeping the peace in the hall, organizing audiences, and generally looking out for any signs of trouble. A few months ago, I had one of these "policing" moments that went above and beyond the norm.

It all started when I was heading down to the office during my prep time. When class is in session, the halls should be pretty much deserted, and those kids who are out should have passes from their classrooms. I noticed a girl moving without much "purpose" (as we like to call it). She did not seem to have a pass, but she did have a large wad of gum that she was chewing with bovine intensity. She seemed a bit too old to be one of our students, but some 8th graders can be deceiving. I checked for a visitor badge, but she didn't have one of those either.

Me: Excuse me; may I see your pass?

Her: What?! I don't HAVE a PASS! I don't EVEN go HERE!!!

Me: Oh I see. So you checked in at the office and you have a visitor sticker?

Her: NO!!! My mom is a TEACHER here, and I came to see her! I don't need a PASS!

Me: Nevertheless, you still need a pass. You also need to spit out your gum.

Her: I said I DON'T EVEN GO HERE!!! MY MOM TEACHES HERE!!!

Me: Nevertheless

Her: OH MY GOD (yes, she really said that) I DON'T BELIEVE THIS! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!

Me: Nevertheless

Her: YOU CAN'T DO THIS! TELL ME YOUR NAME! MY MOM IS A TEACHER! TELL ME YOUR NAME!

Me (telling my name): Nevertheless

At this point she stormed off, and I went down to the office to report the problem. Just as I was finishing explaining the event, here she came around the corner with her mom (an assistant, NOT a teacher) in tow. As the mom frantically tried to explain the daughter's horrible behavior to the principal, I turned to head back to my room. Once I'd turned the corner and was out of sight of the front office, several staff came up to high five me. I was confused. Then one explained that the girl I'd caught was something of a regular in the Front Office. "She's an absolute menace" said one. Ah yes, that's me Officer Teacher, catcher of menaces. Ugh!

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