Monday, March 21, 2011

The Cert Monster

It has only been ten years since I first held a teaching certificate, but it seems like I've been on this treadmill forever. Just like doctors, teachers (of my generation anyway) are never allowed to simply rest on their proverbial laurels. No, no, no we must prove ourselves again and again by taking ever more courses to keep our brains from rusting (or something like that). Every five years we are required to take at least fifteen quarter hours or 150 clock hours pertaining to our area of expertise. For those who are not familiar with the system, that's one and one third of a full-time college load. If we would just take two quarters off from our lives every five years, we would be in fine shape!

Are these courses hard? Generally no. Are they time consuming and expensive? You bet your rusty brain they are. It's a bit like being stalked by a very slow and stupid monster. It isn't that hard to stay ahead of him, but mercy to you if he actually catches you. If you stop paying attention, stop collecting clock hours, or stop taking courses for even a little while (to have a baby for example?), then WHAM! If he gets you, and your certificate expires, not only can you not work, but you are also unhooked from the set of rules they used when you first got your license. This can lead to all sorts of nasty little surprises. It definitely behooves a person to remain up-to-date even if their current teaching assignment involves cutting up blueberries and playing peak-a-boo.

Thus I'm going to have to belly up to the graduate level bar, and take some classes. I've already taken one, and I have a few clock hours hanging around that will help. However, if you don't see much of me in the next few months please send out a search party. I'll be at my computer with a textbook clutched to my chest. If I seem to be immobilized, perhaps you would be so kind as to grab the oil can? Just beware of the monster. He may be slow and stupid, but he's fiercer than he looks.

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