Twas The Night Before Halloween

For my dear husband who loves zombies and other scary, horrid things:

Twas the night before Halloween, when all through the house
All the creatures were stirring, especially the mouse.
The spiders were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that trick or treaters soon would be there.


The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of goblins danced in their heads.
And mamma in her costume, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains on an autumn trap.


When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.


The moon on the shadows did seem to glow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a yard full of ghosts were suddenly near.


With a little old zombie, so disgusting and sick,
I knew in a moment it could be no trick.
More shuffling and moaning his friends came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!


"Now Masher! now, Smasher! now, Slicer and Vicious!
On, Crusher! On, Cutthroat! on, on Donnerparty and Bloodthirsty
Off the tops of their heads! to the top of the wall!
Now slash away! slash away! slash away all!"


As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the monsters they flew,
With the sleigh full of brains, and eyeballs too.


And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The moaning and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney the zombie came with a sound.


He was dressed all in rags, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all covered with gore and soot .
A bundle of guts he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a murderer, just opening his pack.


His eyes-how they glared! his face was so scary!
His cheeks were all rotten, his nose there was nary!
His drooling mouth was drawn up in a horrid grin,
His entire face and body were uglier than sin.


The stump of my arm he held tight in his teeth,
And the blood it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a hand in my belly,
The stench it was worse than anything smelly!


He was chubby and plump, a right freaky old elf,
And I screamed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of my head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.


He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And ripped out my guts, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!


He sprang to his cart, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all shuffled away like a piece of old gristle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Halloween to all, and to all a horrid night!"