A combination of circumstances caused me to ride the Trailways bus to Vancouver last weekend. I haven't ridden a bus (other than a city one of course) for many years, so I was a little uncertain of what to expect. I was actually having all sorts of uncharitable, elitist thoughts about the other possible passengers. Then I thought I was being unfair, and perhaps my stereotypes about bus riders were unjust. As it turned out, my stereotyping was a near-perfect vision of the actual trip.
Luckily, my friend C (a seasoned bus rider) was traveling up with me, so we arrived at the station all cheerful about the prospect of a relaxing ride in the afternoon sun. At the appointed time we got on the bus, and I was happy to see that it was clean and comfortable, and that none of the other passengers had problems with personal grooming. Then, two more people got on board. The first had a large dog on a leash. The second was a classic hippie with dreads and a wide array of interesting jewelry. The hippie plopped down in her seat, and promptly reclined it as far as it would go. This meant that her head was just about in C's lap. It became instantly clear that hair washing was just not one of her priorities; the aroma of hair was going to be with us for the entire trip.
Fortunately, we left on time, we did not encounter much traffic, and we did have a chance to chat quietly all the way up to the Canadian boarder. At the boarder we got off the bus, lined up in the building, and waited for our turn with an official. Mine had very little interest in me, and I was through almost as quickly as C who is a Canadian citizen. In fact, the entire bus seemed to be moving through at a good clip. We all got back on the bus and watched through the window as the last few people made their way through.
The final two people came up to have their turn and... they did not fly through like the rest of us. In the end, Man-with-dog, and another man both had to go back into interview rooms. We waited. The bus driver turned on the bus and attempted to air-condition us to death. We waited some more. Finally, Man-with-no-dog came out and got on the bus. We waited. After about 45(?) minutes, Man-with-dog appeared. "It's not about this dog, but another one I had five years ago. I'll tell you the story if you want to hear it." No one took him up on the offer.
Wheew! We were off again! Now the hippie-woman in front started to chat with us. She started out with a fairly normal story about a tent and a trip to Australia. From there we moved on to some boarder crossings she'd done, and to her opinion of French, American, and Canadian politics. Up until this point most things still made sense. She was obviously not a stupid person, and she really did seem sweet in many ways. However, the whacko ideas soon began to emerge.
I cannot remember which idea came first, and I'm sure to forget whole pieces, but here are some of the highlights:
--- The Earth is currently traveling through the Photon Belt. This means that we are being bathed in photon particles that are emitted from the center of the universe. As the sun reflects them back onto us, we gain light and good, happy vibrations. The power of the cosmic night through which we have traveled for thirteen thousand years is lifted. Our density and darkness are decreased because sad things leave us.
--- The aboriginal people are dreaming about the things to come. They dream about the year 2012 when something major will happen. They prepare to transport themselves into another realm through positive vibration. The Mayans knew how to do this, and that is why we can't find their bones.
--- The power of gravity is on the wane. This means that our brain's capacity to produce certain chemicals is altered. All happy, easy-going people will feel more and more stoned as this process occurs. All the happy people will need to look after each other and make sure that everyone eats. However, all the unhappy people will get more and more psychotic. We happy people may have to be prepared to hold hands, jump up in the air, vibrate happiness, and land on another earth without the bad people.
--- The I Ching (Nitpickers I don't want to hear about the alternate spellings. There are many.) can have been analyzed using really serious science. "They" found all sorts of patterns in human society, and the year 2012 will be a very happy new beginning. "They" discovered this independently of the dreamers and the Mayans.
--- This is all a pack of lies, but we are not prepared to know the truth, so the lies are there to condition our minds. In the first book of this really good series, they tell that it is all lies, but she did not happen to read that book. She also enjoyed the book Ishmael which was about a gorilla.
I just kept thinking "must not smile! Must not smile! Laughing will follow!" and C told me after the fact that she had to rearrange her water bottle a few times. This lady was so sincere, and she had some little chopped up bits of actual science thrown in, so we didn't want to make her feel badly about her crazy ideas. The one thing I can say for this bus ride is that it was not remotely boring. Just be sure you are ready to vibrate when the time comes.
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