Disclaimer: I am decidedly a teacher and not a parent. There are many people who are qualified to give advice from the parent perspective. I have not kept count, but I would imagine that I've attended hundreds of parent/teacher conferences. This entry is sort of a teacher's wish list for parent behavior.
10.Do not wear pancake make-up--- Even if that is your usual style. You will look out of place, and if the conference becomes emotional, you may become smeary.
9. Do not wear a three piece suit--- Some people seem to think this is a job interview for the role of parent. This is not the case. Same goes for furs, extreme jewelry, and feathers (yes, feathers! Remember all this advice comes from real experience!) in most schools you will find people dressed in business casual attire (slacks and blouses for women). Go for something comfortable.
8. Try not to let your own school experience color your opinions--- Remember, that was, what, twenty? thirty years ago? Besides, chances are that this is a completely different school with different teachers in a different community. Also, your kid is not you, and may have a different view of school.
7. Try to maintain a positive attitude--- It is not the end of the world if I am calling you in to tell you that your kid has problems. An extreme propensity for fart jokes in 6th grade does not mean he won't go to Harvard one day. Most likely, with a little hard work, this too shall pass.
6. Do not threaten to tell my boss--- Or rather, go right ahead, but understand that my boss is also a teacher and is likely to support me. If you would like the principal to sit in on the meeting, that is fine with me, but do not accuse us of "ganging up on you" later.
5. Do not call me names--- Seriously! I can't believe I'm including this one, but it happens to teachers ALL the time (I'm a heartless b***c for example). Thinly veiled name-calling is also not a wise choice.
4. Do not tell me about your high-powered job--- The fact that you are a lawyer/doctor/fighter pilot has NO bearing on this meeting. (a friend of mine actually got threatened with "investigation" by a government employee) You will not succeed in intimidating me, but you will convince me that you are an ass.
3. Reserve judgment--- It is very hard for parents, especially parents who are going through things for the first time, to believe that their child could lie. However, it happens to almost every parent sooner or later. Again, this is not the end of the world, but it is also not my fault. Remember, this is not about me and it's not about you. This is about your child.
2. Reserve Judgment--- Kids will talk, and kids will also color their stories to make them more interesting, or to cast themselves in a better light. I won't believe everything I hear about you if you won't believe everything you hear about me.
1. Resist the urge to rush in and rescue--- You love your kid. You want the best for your kid. When your kid is in trouble, you have the overwhelming urge to rush in and make it better. Sometimes, though, for the sake of your kid, you must resist this urge. Personal responsibility is the single most important thing a kid can learn, and practice is the best way to get there. Let them learn from failure when the stakes are small. Do not come in and try to tell me why you need to be a helicopter parent. Your kid will thank you later.
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