Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Baby Class #4: In Which I Get Annoyed

This class consisted of two parts. The first was a trip up to the childbirth center which is something we'd already done. While half of us were on that tour, the other half were supposed to think about our "birthing plans" and watch a video about epidurals. Neither went well for me. Birthing plans because I think its naive (stupid?) to make plans about something over which you have no real control. The more people try to be in control of an experience like this one, the more disappointed they are likely to be. Besides, I've never done this before, so how am I to know what sorts of "focal points" or "pushing aides" will be best?

However, it was really the epidural video that put me over the top. We all watched the short video about how the epidural works, and then we had a break before discussion time. During the break I got to hear more than one woman go on and on about how "icky" the process seemed. It wasn't that they were morally opposed to the idea, but rather creeped out by the mechanics. Once the question round began, it became very apparent that many of these women do not really understand basic biology enough to know how this (or lots of other things?) works.

"Isn't there anything else they can do for the pain?" (no) and "Why can't they just give me narcotics?" (!) were common themes. The poor instructor tried to explain how breast milk can be impacted by drugs, and one woman said "well then can't I just use formula the first few days?" One dumb question just brought on a cascade of other dumb questions, and by the end, my nerves were frayed and my behind was sore. Quit being such whiners! Either man up (ha! ha!) and get the epidural, or accept the reality of natural childbirth. And you can put that in your stupid birth plan!


Raymond said...

Don't worry. When the time comes, they're going to be begging for the "icky" epidural.

Carrie said...

They've never heard of colostrum!?!