Ancient Poem

This poem reads a bit like a better quality pop song from the modern era. However, it is actually at least 3000 years old. It turns out that men haven't changed all that much since ancient times. Racier translations also exist.

Egyptian Love Poem
Author Unknown (circa 1000 b.c.e)

She is one girl,
there is no one like her.
She is more beautiful
than any other.
Look, she is like a star goddess arising
at the beginning of a happy new year;
brilliantly white, bright skinned;
with beautiful eyes for looking,
with sweet lips for speaking;
she has not one phrase too many.
With a long neck and white complexion,
her hair of genuine lapis lazuli;
her arm more brilliant than gold;
her fingers like lotus flowers,
with long legs and girt waist.
Her eyes offer her beauty,
with a brisk step she treads on ground.
She has captured my heart
in her embrace.
She makes all men turn their necks
to look at her.
One looks at her passing by,
this one, the unique one.

Gay Rights Victory

Wow! A little good news from the gay rights battlefield today. Out of Iowa of all places.

National Poetry Month

Welcome to National Poetry Month! Okay, I guess it did start on April 1st, but if I'd mentioned it then, you would have thought I was kidding. Some may think I'm kidding now. National Poetry Month!? Who wants to spend a whole month on something as boring/painful as that? I can almost hear them clamoring about it now. However, lots of us (no, not just English teachers) enjoy poetry, and a whole month of celebration sounds just about right.

As part of the celebration here at school, we are having our version of a poetry slam at the end of the month. Our rules for "Slamming" are a little more relaxed than the official ones; the main difference being that the kids can use poems written by others if they so choose. Therefore, this is really a poetry delivery contest rather than a true slam. However, the kids really get into it, and they read and hear a lot of poems, and that is all that I really care about.

In preparation for the competition (we have a bracket and everything!) we read lots of poems out loud to explore different styles, eras, and themes. I try quite hard to get the kids to focus on the more literary end of the poem spectrum since I figure the more everyday stuff (music lyrics, jingles, silly verse) is around them already. This year, to facilitate our lessons, I've created a master list of poems that are suitable for the sensitive ears (okay, maybe the parents are the ones with sensitive ears) of brand new teens. Allow me to abuse your patience with poems for the next few days.

Panic!

I was just in my boss' office to discuss an upcoming activity with him. While there, he quickly took a phone call, and I was left looking around and waiting for him to finish. I happened to look up at the scheduling board where he plans the schedule from one year to the next. What I expected to see was this year's schedule still posted because he can't start scheduling for next year until the lay-offs are announced. Ha!

Everything's been re-arranged, so I know he's at least playing around with numbers from somewhere (maybe he's just guessing, but more likely he knows things that we don't). Then it hit me. There was my very unique schedule with someone else's name next to it! Is he "demoting" me from special programs to a regular schedule?! That doesn't make sense, but then again maybe I don't know all the facts that might be in play.

I know, I know, I can hear you now telling me to calm down. I don't really know what's going on, and I shouldn't freak out until I hear it for real. I really am trying, but I'm finding the calm to be sort of elusive. I just want all these stupid unknowns to be resolved, so we can get down to the business of picking up the pieces. I'm resisting the urge to sneak another peak while the boss is at lunch.

Happy Birthday C!

Today my friend, C, is having a very important birthday. I hope she has the wonderful day that she deserves. C is, to quote Cushman, a very roomy-hearted person, and I am very much looking forward to knowing her for many decades to come.

Sneezing Our Way Into Spring

The sun may not be fully out yet, and the flowers may be delayed, but spring is definitely here. How do I know? My nose never fails. Spring "sent a green letter for all the trees to read" and they responded by producing a pale yellow snowfall of pollen. This is not a slight case of the sniffles, but a full-blown allergic response. The nose, eyes, ears, and skin are all in on the show. For some unknown reason I seem to be immune to all commercially available anti-allergy medicines. Thus I'm honking and blowing my way through my second day of work as her royal highness, Queen Sneeze of Itchland.

Watts Rocks Grieg

Last Saturday, M and I had the pleasure of hearing Andre Watts play Grieg's piano concerto in A at Benaroya Hall. It was an enormously good time, and I am deeply appreciative of the performance. However, I really don't know if it was more the performer or the piece. Should this be an ode to Grieg, Watts, or both? I think I will have to assign myself some difficult homework, and listen to both Watts and Grieg without the other. Either way, our Saturday night concert thrilled us down to our toes. Then we fled at intermission before Bruckner had the chance to ruin the wonderful mood.

Prompt Writing

Every year, it falls to me (why is another story) to come up with two writing prompts for use by all our students. I try very hard to think of prompts that will not be too complex, will allow the kids to show what they know, and will not fall prey to any major bias. Needless to say, this can be quite a challenge.

Fortunately, as they years go by; I've gotten better at it. Some years are easy. I write a prompt, the group of teachers in my department approve the prompt, the writing genius down at admin vets the prompt, and we are all set. Other years are a little more exciting. This year was definitely on the more interesting side.

As with any other time, I started out by writing a few prompts to present to the department. I always draw on what I know WASL prompts are like, and I try to come up with something that won't be overly biased. For example, years ago there was a to-do over a prompt that contained the word "lawn." Many kids did badly because it turns out that poor kids who live in apartments don't know much about lawns. The perfect prompt is one that is equally accessible to all kids. Of course, perfection IS impossible, but still we have to try.

This year I came up with one prompt about travel, one about friends, and one about technology. I was fairly pleased with all three, and I was quite confident that each would pass the vetting process down at admin. I trotted innocently off to the department meeting. Then all hell broke loose.

Okay, in a group of English teachers "all hell" may be too strong a word. However, there was much too-ing and fro-ing over those three little prompts. At one point we'd almost approved one of my original prompts only to have the agreement smashed by one particularly strident voice. Factions formed, edits were proposed and discarded, and people became quite stern (that's the English teacher version of getting mad).

Finally, the principle (who doesn't always attend these meetings, but happened to be there that day) decided to take action. He proposed a whole new prompt of his own invention. I can't write it here for obvious reasons, but I can say that it was, um, interesting. I knew that is wasn't good, the other teachers all knew it wasn't good, and nobody was willing to challenge him. I felt like I'd already shot down as many bad ideas as I could for the day. With time running out, I promised to send the prompt for vetting.

Can you guess the result? Yeah, it failed the vetting process. I sent down my three original prompts as alternatives, and the genius approved ALL of them. After a protracted email vote (more than sixty emails), the third prompt, the one we'd almost approved at our meeting, made the cut without any editing. We were finally ready. Right before I sent the prompt off to press I get one more email from a brand new teacher "do you think we could re-work the prompt to make it easier for my lower performing students? I don't want them to bomb!" In times like these, counting to ten just isn't enough.

Guess what? The original prompt was a huge success. Even the kids liked it. Of course I have strenuously avoiding saying "I told you so" to any of my colleagues because that would be immature. That doesn’t mean I don't think "neener, neener" at them from time to time.

Two Totally Unrelated Links

Over the weekend I was introduced to something call the failblog. I know, I know everyone but me has probably been viewing it for years, but it was my first look. Some of the pictures made me laugh out loud, and I figure that has to be a good thing. Thus Failblog has become a regular part of my off-time browsing. Be warned that some content may not be appropriate for younger viewers/work settings. Those Virgin Mary soaps, for example, are certainly not suitable for sale in the church shop.

On a totally different note, here is a link to something that is not at all funny. In fact, most people will think it's really boring. However, if you want to know what types of learning are being required of kids in Washington State, you can find released items from the actual WASL in this teacher toolkit. For the strangely geeky among you, it may be interesting. Be sure to select the grade level otherwise you default to cute little third grade examples.

Making a Point With Charts and Graphs

In my classroom I try to teach students about the power of facts when trying to prove a point. After all, if you make some sort of pronouncement, you should be able to back it up with proof. If you don't have any information to back up your opinion, your audience will probably not take you very seriously. This is a lesson many of them struggle to learn, and I often get "persuasive" essays that could not convince a dog to roll in stinky things. Fortunately, Elder Niece is not like these ineffectual weaklings. She is a girl of intellectual muscle, (but I'm not biased!) and she knows that every good point must be proved.

Recently, while the nieces were visiting for the weekend, I noticed Elder Niece making a bar graph. She seemed quite serious about the task, so I did not want to disturb her. However, M heard her describe the purpose of the graph to her sister. It seems that Elder Niece is required by her father (The Strictest Parent Ever) to go to bed at a certain time on school nights. She views this bedtime as unreasonably harsh and would like to negotiate a new deal. She surveyed all the students in her class, and then translated the data to her graph. Bedtimes went on the X-axis, while numbers of kids appeared on the Y-axis. Her graph proves that her bedtime is earlier than the majority of kids in her class.

Now I have read many, many story problems in my career as a student and a teacher. They always seem to me to be terribly contrived situations involving numbers of pizzas and numbers of seats at picnic tables. However, I can honestly say that this was a real-life example of a story problem in action. Who knows if Elder Niece was successful in her bedtime campaign or not, but there can be no doubt that she makes a damn fine graph to prove her point.

Battlestar Galactica is Dead

Sad but true that our favorite TV show, Battlestar Galactica, breathed its last on Friday night. I realized that M and I have been enjoying this show and its predecessor for five of our nearly seven years together. It's really been a part of our little culture. We've discussed the plot and the ideas ad nausem, and we've had a lot of fun socializing around it too. I know, I know, we are huge and embarrassing geeks, and that's okay.

Adding to our pain was the undeniable fact that the ending was not good. I won't spoil it here since I know some readers are still fans who haven't finished. However, I feel that I can say that the whole series is still entirely worthwhile story-telling. It's just that the way they chose to wind up the threads of the plot left a lot to be desired. You only get satisfying answers to some things, and even those answers feel pretty pat. I really did not expect pat from BSG. It seemed like rather than go through the complicated effort of actually resolving certain themes and relationships; they took an easy way out. Unfortunately, that really shows.

Goodbye BSG. We truly loved you.

Top Pot in Bellevue

M is a man with many different talents, and one of them is spotting fun new places to try. On a recent weekend, we were in downtown Bellevue with The Nieces, and M had a brainwave. What about a visit to the new Top Pot doughnuts? Of course we all thought that sounded like a most superior suggestion, so off to Top Pot we went. What a nice way to spend some time on a Sunday morning! The pleasant cafe is exactly like the one in downtown Seattle, and it makes a great place to meet up with friends or family. The doughnuts are, of course, divine, and everyone was quite happy with their picks. My only complaint was the strangely herbal tasting chai, but you can't expect to win them all. We will certainly be back on another Sunday morning. Hopefully this will be a morning right before a day of hiking.

Stimulus Anger

Given the current economic situation, it stands to reason that people would be looking for someone to blame. Just look at the sheer rage directed at Bernie Madoff. Personally, I think blaming the Bush presidency is always good. Of course blame is never that simple. These days, the popular things seems to be blaming the large companies that whose ridiculously risky behavior seems to have caused so much of the trouble. Every time you turn around, there's another story about how the head of some company spent this much bail-out money on this stupid thing.

My question is, knowing how much scrutiny is on them right now, why do these businesses keep making the same stupid choices? Are they really that out of touch? Do they really think no one will notice if they pay for a new corporate jet/waste basket/bonus using government money? There are two sides to every story, so I'm hoping there is some good reason for these choices to which we are not privy. Otherwise, the level of stupidity and entitlement is shocking to say the least.

Eleven Children at the Zoo

My elder brother has been a manager, on and off, for many years now. I assume he's good at his job since he's smart and capable and always in demand by employers. However, I've never really had the chance to see him in the midst of his actual job (have you ever had the chance to watch your brother at work?). Recently had the opportunity to see his managerial skills in action. Only this time, it wasn't a bunch of engineers he was organizing, but a group of small children.

The occasion was Younger Niece's eighth birthday party. She picked Red Robin for her celebratory lunch, and then the whole crowd of us (nine little kids and two big ones) were off to the zoo. The car logistics alone were quite something, but we eventually arrived at the gates with tickets in hand. When you have a group of kids that size, and you don't really know all of them that well, the danger is that a kid could get left behind somewhere, and you wouldn't event notice. Thus some early cave teacher must have invented the first buddy system.

Standing in the mock African village (which looks disappointingly unlike M's childhood home), each kid chose a buddy, and then each pair of buddies chose a grown-up "keeper." This way, every grown-up only had to keep track of two kids. Luckily, Elder Niece and her buddy were willing to partner with M because it turned out that a strange man is too scary for most of the younger girls. I congratulated/kidded Elder Niece on being very brave, and she told me that Uncle M. is "NOT scary AT ALL!" And so we set off.

Each grown-up kept a general eye on his or her pair of kids, but it was my brother who was in the lead. He was also the one who gave general reminders such as "Please don't climb into the pig enclosure!" or "No running in front of strollers!" or perhaps "No petting that part of the bunny!" We stayed until it was almost closing time, and we saw some "really cool stuff." The highlights, as far as the kids were concerned, were a tiny snake eating an even tinier fish, the hippos moving ponderously around, and the lions calling out their sunset "song."

At last, my brother counted up the children one final time before piling them back into cars. He asked Younger Niece what she thought of the trip, and she said that "It would have been the best birthday ever except the one problem. You're the strictest dad EVER! But it was still fun." Nothing like the old mixed message from the budding tween. Grandma gave Younger Niece a lecture about gratitude, but I told me brother he should wear "Strictest Dad Ever" as a serious mark of pride. If that birthday event was the work of the strictest parent ever, then I hope to be one of those myself one day.

John Stewart on NPR

The world has turned upside-down if National Public Radio is featuring stories about John Stewart. Quite a shift for the former late night talk show host who also used to do guest spots on the hideous program Talk Soup. Granted, John Stewart has become quite a liberal hero in the last several years, but I still found it really strange to hear his name coming out of the mouths of Kai Ryssdal and his ilk.

Congrats C & C!

In the midst of a crazy work week, I was very pleased to take a little time out for some good stuff. Our friends, C and C, had asked a few of us to serve as witnesses at their courthouse wedding, and I was thrilled to accept. Thus we found ourselves in a tiny, sunlit courtroom where a very friendly judge had just finished hearing cases for the day. The entire wedding, including the judge, couple, and guests, consisted of seven people. The couple and the service were so sweet that I actually got a little teary-eyed before it was over. There is something about stripping a wedding back to the bare basics that is really quite touching. Here's hoping that C and C have a very happy life together.

Too Busy

A combination of forces is conspiring to use up every spare moment of my time this week (and last week and next week). I could explain all the exciting projects we're doing at work, such as trimester grades, but that would probably just come out sounding whiney. Suffice it to say, this is the usual work load for this time of year. By the time we go on Spring Break in a few weeks, most of the extra work will be over. We're 2/3 of the way done with the school year, and I can already start to taste the summer.

Rave #217: Snow

I know, I'm kind of a broken record when it comes to snow. Therefore, I should simply say "snow rave here" and you could play it over in your head. Sorry to be predictable. Nevertheless, I just can't seem to help myself.

We've been flirting with snow for several days now. On Saturday night it even went so far as give us a heavy dusting while we were having dinner with the family. All the school-going members of the group were quite excited, but not enough fell to make much of a difference. However, by this morning, enough had fallen to warrant a two-hour delay (for those of us up on the foothills anyway. So neener, neener nieces and grandma!).

Driving to school was not much of a problem because most of the roads were still only bare and wet. However, as the morning wore on, the snow got more and more enthusiastic. By about 1pm today, it was coming down thick and fast. The school district cancelled all after school activities, and sent the teachers home right after the bell (we usually stay for a bit after the kids). The drive home was a little slick, and I'm glad I cam home when I did because it hasn't let up yet.

None of the weather reports I saw predicted anything like this, so I don't know if I should believe them when they say "clear and cold" for tonight. If they are right about the cold part, anything that falls today will stick around for a while. Who knows, maybe we could end up having a snow day in March. Stranger things, like snow on the cherry blossoms, have happened.

Censorship Continues

Recently, I wrote a post about censorship. In it, I mentioned the story of my elementary school banning the book The Lorax due to its unflattering depiction of loggers. It is, to my mind, a pretty clear example of how close-minded my little community was 25 years ago. No worries though because that was quite a while ago, and we are all much more reasonable today right? Ha and ha again. It seems that another small Oregon town has just pulled the exact same trick under the exact same logic. Sad, sad, sad.

Car Music

My little car and I recently celebrated our second anniversary together. Unlike my last car, this one is not exciting, it does not elicit any passion, it is not thrilling around curves. However, this new car also does not leave me stranded, require a close relationship with a mechanic, or guzzle gas. On the whole, the quiet, reliable life is entirely worthwhile. The only complaint I had was about the music.

My current car came with a cassette deck. Yes, a cassette deck. I don't own any cassettes, and I haven't owned any in at least ten years. What was the car maker thinking when, in 2003, they built a car with a cassette deck? The only thing I can do with the deck is play old audio books from the library. While I enjoy Georgette Heyer novels just as much as the next girl, it just wasn't the same as listening to actual music. Clearly the cassette deck had to go.

I tried several times to get a CD player, but something always seemed to get in the way. Most frequently that something was my own cheap nature. Why should it cost $150 to install a $99 CD player? Why, if they offer same day installation could I never get an appointment on the same day? Why are the guys who work in car audio departments always so snippy? Why does Circuit City suck so much? Who knows, but the end result of all that was that I never did get a CD player installed. Ah well, there's always NPR.

For two years, I listened to the radio or an audio book. I'd pretty much just given up on the whole CD player plan. Sure, I could've done more to pursue it, but I just didn't. Then along came my clever and heroic husband. With perfect nonchalance, he bought a CD player online (I would have dithered forever about the type) and installed it in my car. No fuss, no muss, and no scuff marks on the dash. It works perfectly.

I once again get to have a soundtrack when I drive. I love that. On my drive home last night, I got to listen to Barenaked Ladies, Green Day, and Fallout Boy. This morning, as the sun was coming up, it was Madeline Peyroux and Yo-Yo Ma. What a nice way to pass the time. Of course, my knowledge of current affairs and Heyer books might suffer, but I think I can live with that.

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss

If he were alive today, Dr. Seuss would be turning 105 years old. What he would have to say about such a momentous occasion, we can only guess. His fabulous array of books, over sixty in all, are a library unto themselves, and millions of people, young and old, owe their literacy to his excellent work. Oh the Places You'll Go, Red Fish, Blue Fish, Green Eggs and Ham, The Bitter Butter Battle, and Fox in Socks are some of my personal favorites.

Raising Vegetarian Kids

Vegetarianism is a subject that seems to come up quite frequently on my favorite online magazine, Slate. The topic is treated very differently depending on the author, but I think most of the articles raise interesting questions. This article, about a meat-eating dad raising vegetarian daughters, is both thought-provoking and quite sweet. The dad discusses some of his initial concerns about the idea, and then describes how he's come to terms, or not, with each issue.

One of my favorite points from the article is that kids learn what is "normal" at a very early age. This means that whatever messages the parents send about food in the first few years of life tend to stick with the kid for a long time. This is why most of us have such nostalgic feelings about the meals we ate as small children. Even if there is a period of adolescent rebellion, many adults ultimately return to the nutritional patterns of their parents. Whether or not you are a vegetarian, it is an important reminder not to feed kids junk.

The Desk Garden

Yesterday, before it began to snow, I was wandering around our yard admiring the progress of the spring bulbs. I love seeing the little white bells of the snow drops that are just finishing their three week run. Now the daffodils are pushing their green heads out of the ground, and the crocus and tulips are coming along as well. Some are bulbs that came with the house, others I planted in a fit of autumn gardening few years ago, but the greatest number come from my desk.

At the grocery store, I often pick up inexpensive pots of bulbs to brighten up my classroom. They live on my desk for a few weeks while they bloom, and then, when they are passed, I take them home and plant them. I know that early spring is completely the wrong season to be planting bulbs, but somehow it usually seems to work. We have several patches of desk tulips that keep coming back year after year. Two tiny varieties of desk iris live under the Japanese maple, and offer up beautiful dark purple blooms in early March. We also have at least one bunch of late desk crocus right outside our back door. This year, I think it will be a new patch of desk paper whites that joins the garden. I like to think of it as my own weird version of flower recycling.

School Math

For the last few months, everyone here at school has been quietly freaking out. We are not normally an excitable group, but when under the threat of change we can become agitated. When under the threat of enormous change, even the most reserved among us begins to sweat. The cause of our concern? Change like nobody has seen in at least a generation.

We've known for some time that the opening of a new program would mean re-assignment for about one quarter of our workforce. However, we were all greatly relieved when we got the news that the new program would not be opening in 09/10 due to construction delays. "Yay!" we all said "one more year of normalcy!" Ha! Ha! such innocents we were then.

Starting in November, as the economy began to go so obviously south, we began to hear rumblings of bad times ahead. When the news came out that the governor expected a 3.6 billion budget shortfall in the next year, some people began to mutter about possible cuts. Special programs could be limited or eliminated, class sizes might go up, and we might not get another cost of living adjustment (COLA) for some time. It sounded unpleasant, but we thought we could weather that kind of storm.

Sometime in late January it came out that estimates on the budge deficit had changed. Instead of 3.6 we were looking at something more like 5-6 billion. This is when the real lay-off talk began. By one estimate, we could lose5-8% of our teaching force. This would mean job losses for a few and big changes for some those left behind as principals would have to scramble to cover the missing teachers. Times are hard, we told ourselves, but most of us will get through this largely unscathed.

Still with me? Good. You can guess what happened next. The new budget estimate is somewhere around 9-10 billion. The superintendent of the district came to tell us that lay-offs were a certainty and that we could expect to lose at least 10% of the teaching force. He also warned us that it could be much worse if things continue to decline. It turns out that there is no legal limit on the number of students in one regular education classroom in Washington. They can keep cramming kids into our rooms until they reach the fire code limit. Classrooms of 40 or 50 kids are a very real possibility.

Seniority, something we never had much interest in before all this, is suddenly very important. The system of lay-off and re-call does not allow for the removal of the poorest quality teachers, instead it is based entirely on years of experience. If you have enough seniority, you might survive the chop. However, it is a terrible thing to look at all your co-workers and hope that they will get laid off instead of you.

Those who stay behind are not safe from major upheaval either. Along with massively larger work loads and lower pay, teachers who stay behind will have to fill the gap for those who go. This means that many people will have to be transferred to fill essential roles. For example, all the newest teachers in our building happen to be in the same department and grade. We can't simply not have that class in that grade, so the principal will have to draw off one or two people from the other areas to fill the need. A person could even find themselves working in a building at the extreme opposite end of our district which would mean a commuting two towns over. Does any of that make any sense? I'm not so sure anymore.

I could go on for days. The uncertainty is hard on all of us. Teaching attracts the type of person who likes to be prepared for things. We attempt to analyze future needs and begin to meet them in good time. We are not last minute kinds of people. However, if you don't have a clue where you'll be or what you'll be expected to do, it is very difficult to get a jump on the work. I know teachers are not alone in all this. I imagine the Tums people are doing a roaring trade right about now.

Milk

M and I got to see the movie Milk a few days ago, and we were very impressed. The sensitive potrayal of a real person AS a real person (warts and all if you know what I mean) made it very effective. The story of Harvey Milk's life, his struggles for civil rights, and his senseless death are certainly the stuff of legend, but Gus Van Sant managed to shy away from the temptation to turn him into a saint. Both Sean Penn and Dustin Lance Black (screenwriter) absolutely deserved their Oscar wins. Black's acceptance speech, directly quoting the real Harvey Milk, was the best moment of Oscars in my opinion. Be sure to see this movie.

Poster Kurfuffle

It all started when I had to host one of our monthly meetings. I hate hosting meetings because I don't think I'm very good at it. Teachers, especially after a long day of work, are also the worst kind of audience. They chat amongst themselves, fail to pay attention, and wander off topic at the first opportunity. In short, it's a bit like teaching kids only you can't yell at them to behave.

Anyway, I was running this meeting, and we were discussing a major project we are developing for all students. This project has several components, and it involves many people working on separate pieces to create the whole. In the midst of serious discussion (yes they finally got on topic) about one of the most complex parts of the project, the principal suddenly interrupted to say "where's the poster!?" We all looked around in confusion trying to figure out what the heck he was talking about. "The poster!" he demands again. By this time, people are looking seriously confused.

"The poster about this project!" he finally clarifies. Vague memories are coming to me of his having caused posters to be made advertising the major features of the project. "Urm, sorry" I say "I don't think I have one of those yet." He's still looking wildly around the room as if a poster might magically appear. "You must have a poster! Everyone's supposed to have a poster! Who has one that we can use?!" Nobody responds at first. We're all looking at each other to see what will happen.

Someone tries to sort of ignore the whole poster thing and get us back to the topic at hand, but he's not having any of it. He demands that someone go down and find a poster "pull it off your wall if you have to" and bring it back to our meeting. No further discussion can happen until the all important poster arrives. A few people make vague noises about having posters in THEIR room because they're so important to the project. The poster finally arrives. It has been ripped from the wall for this purpose.

This poster is all of four lines long. It gives four steps for success on the project. The principle admires it, asks someone to read it out loud, and explains to everyone that these are the four steps that count. Without them, our students will fail. We all make more vague noises of approval before going back to our real topic. We've wasted at least twenty minutes.

The next day, in the staff bulletin, there is only one item:

If you do not have a Project Poster, be sure to pick one up in the staff room. It is essential that all students are able to read the four steps for success in each and every classroom.

You just can't make this stuff up.

Never a Dull Moment

I'm just back from a frosty morning fire drill. It went in the usual way with all three grade levels and all staff lined up on the sports field. When we are all together, it makes a crowd of more than 1000 people. We do these every month, so it is no problem knowing what you're supposed to do. What made this one unique is that we'd already had a practice drill for the month. This wasn't practice at all. The fire alarms were tripped by, I'm not making this up, a smoking diaper.

It seems that one of the science teachers was doing an experiment that involved warming clean wet diapers in the microwave. Needless to say, the diaper warming got a little out of hand and smoke appeared. Thus we all ended up shivering on the track while the firefighters made sure it was safe to re-enter the building. The guilty teacher is making cookies for us all tomorrow.

Of Good Subs and Bad

Last week I had the dreaded lurgy which is never fun, so I stayed home from school for one whole day. This is only the second day of this school year that I've missed due to illness, so you know I really wasn't feeling good. You might think missing so little school has to do with some strict sense of honor, but really it's not quite as noble as all that.

The worst part about being sick, aside from the obvious, is having a substitute teacher in charge of your classroom. Now I know that some people can quite cheerfully hand over their little darlings without a backward glance, but I am not one of those people. Are you surprised? I thought not. It is certainly part of my nature to dislike giving up control, but there is more to it than that.

My classes, as I've mentioned many times before, are not normal classes. My afternoon kids are exceptional young people who pretty much always do the right thing. However, having a sub stresses them out because it creates uncertainty. They REALLY want to know where they stand at all times. My morning block, on the other hand, has less emotional maturity than my seven year old niece. They just plain misbehave whenever they get the chance.

This is not to say that it's impossible to have a good experience with a sub. There are many good subs out there who do an excellent job of managing tough classes. In my experience, there are three kinds of subs to be had:

---Permissive subs just let the kids run wild. This makes the kids happy, but the work rarely gets done, and the other teachers in the school may become very grumpy. Also, your kids are NOT happy to see you when you get back. I hate this sub and try to avoid her (why is it usually a her?) at all costs.

---Authoritarian subs have their place, but they can be very harsh. The worst one I ever had threatened the kids with bodily harm, and they believed her. This sub gets the work done, but the kids end up shell-shocked. At least they are happy to see you when you get back. I try to avoid this kind of sub too.

---Authoritative subs are wonderful. They tend to be very grave and unflappable. They do not let kids get away with bad behavior, but they do not resort to yelling or threats. The kids do not like them, but they are not scared of them either. The kids are glad to see you after a day with this sub, but they don't need to spend half an hour telling you a tale of woe. I love this kind of sub, and will cheerfully make them cookies if it will encourage them to come.

I suppose, when it boils down to it, this is not really a tally of the different kinds of subs, but of the different approaches to discipline. You could also divide most parents into the same three categories. Can you guess which kind of parents my AM kids have? PM? Any guesses? Sign me up to be an authoritative parent some day. But I digress.

The sub I happened to get last week was of the authoritarian variety. According to my adult aide, she totally failed to teach the lesson, yelled at the kids for no reason, called them names, and then left the classroom five whole minutes before the end of the period. It took much soothing and cajoling to get them to calm down and get back to work this morning. No way am I EVER having that sub again. Could you pass me that bottle of hand sanitizer and an orange please?

Three Love Poems and No Songs of Despair

How Do I Love Thee?

by Elizabeth Barret Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.



It's all I have to bring today

by Emily Dickenson

It's all I have to bring today –
This, and my heart beside –
This, and my heart, and all the fields –
And all the meadows wide –
Be sure you count –
should I forget
Some one the sum could tell –
This, and my heart, and all the Bees
Which in the Clover dwell.


I Love You

by Sara Teasdale

When April bends above me
And finds me fast asleep,
Dust need not keep the secret
A live heart died to keep.
When April tells the thrushes,
The meadow-larks will know,
And pipe the three words lightly
To all the winds that blow.
Above his roof the swallows,
In notes like far-blown rain,
Will tell the little sparrow
Beside his window-pane.
O sparrow, little sparrow,
When I am fast asleep,
Then tell my love the secret
That I have died to keep.

Happy 200 Darwin

Happy birthday to Charles Darwin, arch nemesis of creationists everywhere! It is amazing to me that, 200 years later, his theories still create such incredible drama. I believe Mr. Darwin! I believe!

Silence

Not dead, just overwhelmed at work. More on that later.

Boron Moron

Reading the NY Times today, I ran across this story about a correction they made to a story that ran last week in the science columns. It seem that this correction caught the attention of the staff writers at the Conan O'Brien Show. Be sure to scroll down and watch the video clip.

500th Post

My goodness! I just noticed that the last post represented number 500 for this blog. That represents either a startling waste of time or something of an accomplishment. I like to blog because I think that writing is good for the human brain. It represents a very specific kind of mental work-out that can't help but keep us cognitively flexible.

Also, as an English teacher, I think it's a good thing to stay connected to the writing process. Otherwise, you run the risk of forgetting what it's like for the kids who are in the trenches slogging through the basics. I also model a lot of simple five paragraph essays specifically for the kids, but they are profoundly not blog-worthy. They say in education that the best writing is done for "real audiences and purposes" so thank you, readers, for providing as much for me.

Beethoven's 9th

I've been meaning to post this for a month now and just haven't had the chance. As part of our New Year celebration, we were lucky enough to hear Beethoven's 9th symphony. Musically educated friends tell me that some of the people playing instruments did only a fair to middling job of performing. However, the choral part more than made up for any other deficits. I've always enjoyed this piece on cd, but somehow the power of actually being there was something altogether new. The music really does swell up and wash over you just as music fans have always claimed. If you ever get the chance to here the 9th in person with a live chorus, be sure to take it. Also, big thanks to R who makes our little symphony club possible, and to M who is my musical sugar daddy. Hooray for men who like the symphony!

PETA Ad

If you haven't yet seen the banned PETA superbowl ad, you are seriously missing out. Okay, to be fair, you're not actually missing out on that much. I feel certain that PETA made this ad with the express purpose of having it banned thereby guaranteeing increased traffic on their website. I guess that's not a terrible strategy. I have such mixed feelings about PETA though. In many ways, they have a message I really respect and support. However, some of their tactics give vegetarians/animal rights supporters a bad name. Oh yes, and if you're going to watch the video, be sure to check out Whoopi Goldberg's impression of it as well.

There Are Kids And Then There Are Kids

Many critics of American (and probably every other kind as well) education seem to suffer from the illusion that all students are created equal, and that their success or failure depends only on what teachers pour into them. Experienced teachers (and parents?) know that kids come with very different sets of skills and abilities, and it is part of the educational challenge to play on the strengths and shore up the weaknesses. One of the single greatest problems for the average teacher is how to meet this variety of needs in a single class.

For example, a teacher friend of mine sent identical email to her three absent students. In this email she inquired after their health and reminded them of the work she would expect when they returned. She got these three replies (some details have been changed to protect the guilty, but the style and gist are original):

"Oh, okay thank you so much! I will get right to the homework. For the yellow history triangle, I remember you saying to fill that out as we go, even if we were in history or not, but it only goes through Dec. 16th. I was assuming we would receive another sheet or just finish that current one but I was not sure?"

"hi i will back on monday i do not have the spelling test or the vocab test. do i have to turn in the the writing prep 2 i did it but its not on computer grades?"

"it's already better so it' fine and i've just been hanging out but i might go up to the pass this weekend so ya thanks bye"

You begin to see the problem?

Octuplets: Twelve Babies Too Many

Yes, yes, I know that the California woman who just gave birth to octuplets only delivered eight babies (I do know that oct=eight). However, it turns out that this woman already had six children! Not only that, but she is a single mother who does not have any obvious means of support. Her oldest child is seven while her youngest is just two. Throw in the fact that at least one of her older children is autistic, AND that she lost her house just before becoming pregnant. It would be tough to dream up a worse situation for the introduction of a brand new baby. However, in this case it's not just one new baby, but eight.

Now the ethics, medical and otherwise, come into the situation. There are so many ugly questions here that it's difficult to know where to begin:

- Either insurance or public aid will have to pay for the healthcare costs of these children. Given the fact that each is likely to cost more than one million dollars for their delivery and NICU care alone, that is a huge amount of money. This woman made a choice to have these children and now private individuals are paying the enormous cost. Suddenly this does not seem like a purely personal issue any more.

-Next come the medical ethics. Was it reasonable for a doctor to implant so many embryos? Was it even reasonable for a doctor to be offering this type of service to a woman with so many children already? Should there be any kinds of checks on the mental health or stability of the family? What kind of life can a child expect as one of eight babies in a family of fourteen?

-Last there is the question of adding so many extra people to the planet. I have long believed that we will one day have to face the realities of unlimited population growth. Very few countries actually tackle this issue for fear that they will run afoul of religious conservatives who see every conception as a new soul sent from God. Other countries have tried to cope, but with brutal results. Eventually we will need to find a kinder gentler way to limit the growth of our population. Perhaps we might start with a limit on the number of children one can have and still seek infertility treatment?

In the end, I (and the millions of other horrified people) could certainly be wrong. Maybe this woman is a wonderful mother who will work hard to provide everything her children need. Maybe this home will be a warm and loving place where all the children feel safe, comfortable, and loved. I fervently hope this is the case. However, I also hope that child protective services will keep this woman on their short list just on the off chance that hers does not turn out to be the perfect environment for eight tiny babies.

Hypothetical Despair

Imagine, if you will, an office with thousands of employees. Just for the sake of argument of course. Now imagine a manager who has been assigned a very specific group of reports. These twenty or so employees have been pulled out specifically to work on this team because they are the company's underperformers. They are not bad enough to fire, and in fact, many of them are quite talented individuals, but they all have had problems in the past. Some do not meet their quotas, others have repeated HR violations, and some just seem totally checked out. This re-assignment is a last ditch effort by the company to save them.

At first, the new team struggles to find its footing. Some of the employees find it very hard to leave bad habits behind, and even with much coaching from their new manager, they still have trouble making the right choices. Some members of the team seem to want to improve, but others continue to make life difficult for everyone. One time, the problems get serious enough that the manager's manager has to step in. However, as time goes by, things do begin to get better. The manager begins to notice glimmers of hope. Decent quality work begins to emerge. They may not be the top-producing team in the company, but they are also not the last. On one project, the team excels to the point where they earn a commendation from above.

To be fair, this purely hypothetical team is not perfect. Some still drop the ball, and allow work to fall through the proverbial cracks. However, the team has certainly improved as a whole, and only a few are still in danger of firing. The manager is especially happy to see that some of the most recalcitrant members of the team are now putting in true effort and working to collaborate constructively with colleagues. Could it be that this team of mis-fits might actually make a true turn-around?

Then one day, this imaginary manager comes to work to discover a huge crowd of officemates. The people are buzzing like a swarm of angry bees. As the story comes out in bits and pieces, the manager discovers that something major happened the day before. It seems that after most people had already left for the day, a small group of employees were escorted from the building by security. They were caught doing something not only against company policy but also illegal.

Most of the employees involved were from a more senior team, but one other person was also caught out. This person was one of the biggest success stories from the manager's "special" team. The manager is horrified. What will happen to the employee? What if others on her team were involved? How could this have happened when he was doing so well?! Why did he have to make such a stupid choice?!! The manager has become virtually frozen by disappointment and disbelief. Hypothetically speaking of course.

Perfect Snowflakes

The dusting of snow falling this morning made me remember the snow we had on Sunday. I don't remember ever seeing such perfect snowflakes! They were like the sort that you cut out of paper when you were a kid, or the kind that your grandma knitted as Christmas ornaments. I kept catching them on my gloves and stopping to look at all the intricate detail. We usually get a variety of flakes from the cotton wool-type clumps to the grainy sand-like bits, but flakes like the ones we saw on Sunday are certainly a rarity. Don't get me wrong, I'll take any kind of snow on offer. If the snow falling right now will only stick around long enough for accumulation, I certainly will not complain.

Year of the Ox

Happy Chinese New Year! According to one story, The Buddha invited all the animals to join him for a party, and twelve of them answered his call. The Chinese zodiac represents the order in which the animals appeared. Having tricked the kind and generous ox, the rat arrived first as they all raced to cross the last river. The poor ox was second, the rooster third, and so on down the line.

Having left the year of the rat behind, we are now entering the year of the ox. According to the Chinese zodiac, ox people are supposed to be "unswervingly patient, tireless in their work, and capable of enduring any amount of hardship without complaint." Unfortunately, many of the predictions, both zodiac and real world, are saying that this will be a year filled with hardships. The good news is that these are supposed to be hardships of the economic, and not personal, kind. Supposedly, the ox's greatest pleasure is spending quiet time at home with family and friends after a good day's work. Maybe this is just the ticket to finding happiness and success in 2009.

Teacher Pride

Many readers know about my "small block" as I often call them. These are the kids who do not meet the legal qualifications for special education, but they are still not quite up to being successful in our fast-paced general education classes. Our former vice principal used to call them her "tweeners" because they just didn't fit in either category. Why are they low performers? Divorce, suicide (parents not there's of course), poverty, and abuse are the usual culprits. It is rare for me to have a kid who isn't impacted by one of those. To meet their needs, my small class was created.

We have few kids (15-20 instead of 30+), we go slowly, and we explain and model everything very carefully. In general, the class is quite successful at keeping these kids from failing language arts and social studies. The challenge for me is to keep myself upbeat as I explain, for the fourth (or fortieth) time today, the definition of a thesis. Sometimes I struggle to keep things light, to keep up hope for them, and to support them as they act out or pull in due to stresses at home. Then, every once in a while, I get a wonderful, heartening moment.

Yesterday we took our novel quiz. Today we discussed the first half of our novel, and I graded the quizzes. It was amazing. The average score on the novel quiz was 32/35. I've used this quiz before with previous classes, so I know this is not just an easy one. I also know this class pretty well now, I've seen a lot of their work, and this is something amazing. They've finally "bought in" to this whole reading thing, and they're actually PAYING ATTENTION!!!


During our discussion we had this exchange:

Me: Okay, so let's think about the characters in this book. What makes them tick? Why do they each do the things they do?

Boy 1: Because they are Confucius?

Me(amazed that he remembers this term from one class and is applying it correctly to another): Confucian? What do you mean by that?

Boy 1: Because Confucian makes them have to behave, so Haoyou has to do what his dad says or what Uncle Bo says no matter what.

Me (floored!): Wow, that's really clever of you. How did you think of that?

Boy 1 (totally nonchalant): Because Haoyou said it himself about needing to be obedent.

Me: Obedient?

Boy 1: Yes, oBEEdeient.

Boy 2: Yeah, they all kind of have to be obedient because that's the rule. Be obedient to your family.

Girl (forgets to raise her hand and blurts out): I think they're all looking for families! That's what they all want.

Me (totally amazed now because our discussions usually consist of one word answers): Families? What do you mean by that?

Girl: They are all missing some family. Like Haoyou misses his dad and the Great Miao is kind of like a dad for him cause he's nice to him and stuff. And Mipeng wants, um (blushing), a new, nice husband.

Boy 1: Yeah, like if you put them all together then they kind of make up a new kind of family. Then they could all be loyal to each other and still be kind of in Confucian.

Me (still floored): Well, um, wow, that's very good everybody. I think you've done a great job summing up the motivation for these characters.

This may seem like a weird kind of blog post to be sharing, but if you knew this class, if you knew how far they'd come from the start of the year, you would be amazed too. They’re thinking, they’re actually thinking! And not just on a purely concrete level! On Monday, when they get their novel quizzes back, they are definitely getting doughnuts.

Good News for Sick Kid!

Yay! Finally some good news for my student who has cancer. Unfortunately, she still has cancer. However, surgeons were able to remove the tumor and it had not moved into the bone! She still has to do a full course of chemo, but then her outlook should be very good. Even though the chemo is very rough, she still wants to come to school, and we end up seeing her 2-3 times per week. She seems tired and wrung out, but she still the same sweet girl as ever. Here's hoping that good luck and modern medicine can help her live to a ripe (and healthy) old age.

A Nod to Non-Believers

Many commentators are saying that Obama's inaugural speech was somewhat lacking. I would have to disagree. True, he did not go for the idealized flights of fancy that characterized some of his more famous speeches, but hey, this is definitely a time for realism. At times it almost seemed like he was taking the country to task for its collective mistakes, and, again, I thought this was very appropriate. I found his speech to be inspiring without sugar-coated any of the facts about our situation.

One portion that particularly pleased me was his mention of religion:

"...for we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus--and non-believers."

Wow! Non-believers! This IS an historical moment. In my 15 years of following politics closely, I don't think I've ever heard non-believers mentioned in any remotely positive context. Talk about being inclusive! Add to this, all his words about returning science to the fore, and I am feeling very optimistic about his platform. Now if we could only make some progress on gay marriage and charter schools...

Oh Frabjous Day! Obama is President!

Callooh! Callay! we chortled in our joy! Obama is safely elected 45th president of the United States! I do not have the proper words (beyond Carroll) to express the amazement, satisfaction, and delight I am feeling right now. What a long strange trip it's been to get us to this point, and this morning was no exception.

This morning, it was still dark as night when I left the house. Fog was rolling over everything, but you could still see a huge bright crescent moon looming overhead. I thought it set a very interesting tone for the rest of the day. When I got to school I discovered there was no heat in my classroom, or in our building as a whole. The gauge in my room read 52 degrees F. It was so cold that the overhead lights were not working properly, and the classroom was left in a sort of dim shadow.

I assumed that the heat would come on eventually, so I went about trying to make sure that the computer/vcr/cable (no, I don't know why it has to be so complicated) connection was working. I wanted to show the kids at least 30 minutes of the event if not more. The media system had other plans though, and I couldn't get anything besides static on the screen. I asked permission to stream it from the internet, but this was denied. It was really looking as though we might not get to watch the inauguration at all. Meanwhile, the heat still was not on, and the bell began to ring.

You would think that a class full of freezing kids would be most concerned about the freezing part, but this was not the case. They were very upset at the thought that they might not get to see the new president! I'm not kidding, this was their main concern, and several of them spent quite a while trying to get the TV to work. We played "Simon Says" to stay warm, and I served hot cocoa in little paper cups. When the game was over, I showed historic photos and info about past inaugurations. Then Ms. S swept into the room. She did not have any students in her room first period, and she wondered if we would like to come and visit? We made the switch in two minutes flat.

Ms. S. already had the TV on when we arrived in her room, and there he was, Barack Obama, larger than life on the big screen. We were enthralled. Most of the students in my low skill block were silent and attentive during the ceremony. This is a pretty impressive performance for a group of students like them. A few boys had some trouble being quiet, but even they settled down when the actual swearing began. We heard Aretha Franklin, we heard Itzak Perlman and Yo Yo Ma (that was the hardest part for the difficult boys), and we watched Obama put his hand on the Lincoln bible and become our new president. The whole scene gave me chills. There was a spontaneous round of applause from all the students.

I told the kids to really pay attention today because this is one moment in history that they will want to remember. I'm hoping that as the next eight years go by, the inauguration of Barack Obama can begin to eclipse 9/11 as the most important historical event in my memory. It all depends on what he does from this day forward. Best of luck Barack.

Happy Birthday MLK

One hopes that most Americans are familiar with the life and work of Martin Luther King jr. At school we are working on an assembly to honor his memory, and to point out that his struggle for justice must continue. Our country has changed quite a bit since his death, but many of the problems he denounced are still with us today. Nevertheless, progress is being made in some areas. On the eve of his assassination in 1968, MLK gave a speech that seemed prophetic:

"Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!"

Now I don't want to over-state the situation or anything, but I think maybe I can see a little bit of the promised land coming up over the rise? Yep, that's certainly it. I believe a small, but very important, portion of The Promised Land will be arriving Tuesday at 12pm eastern time. Happy birthday Dr. King.

Happy Baby!

Congrats to our friends J and T who have just become proud parents. Welcome to little baby E who arrived just in time to watch the inauguration. What a joyful and momentous week this will be!

New Teacup Location

My most favorite Seattle tea shop, Teacup, has changed location. Don't worry, the purveyors of fine Dammann Frères teas (and others), have not gone far. They are still located on Queen Anne Avenue North, but now they have moved just up the street to a larger corner location near Safeway. If you've never been, be sure to stop by and sniff some of the many fragrant varieties of loose leaf tea. Then, once you've made your choice, order a cup to go, wrap your hands around the steaming cup, and breath in the happiness.

Sick Kid

At school we just found out that one of our kids has bone cancer. Not just any kid in our school, but one of MY sweet little girls from the morning class. I understand that when you gather a group of 1000 kids, you are bound to have car accidents, suicides, and serious illness (we've had all of those before). However, knowing that never seems to take away the shock. This poor little girl is one of those all-round nice kids who looks after other people and plays beautifully on her cello. Why does this have to happen to her instead of some grumpy grown-up? Sometimes life really is not fair.

Outliers by Malcom Gladwell

Some books are great fun to read, but they don't promote much deep thinking. On more than one occasion, I've picked up a promising-looking book only to discover a vague memory of having read it before. For whatever reason, the story just doesn't stick. This is never the case with books by Malcom Gladwell. His topics always leave me pondering the ideas for months or even years afterwards. His newest book, Outliers, is no exception.

The main theme of this book is success, and it attempts to debunk the myth that some people are successful simply because they are talented. Success, Gladwell claims, is the result of a complex interplay of many factors including natural talent, extensive practice, thorough education, bountiful opportunities, and a healthy dose of luck. Quite the counterpoint to that old story about a person who pulls themselves up by their bootstraps through sheer pluck alone.

One part of the book I found particularly interesting was when he looked at the role of education in success. I won't repeat it all here (you can and should just read the book), but it was so good to hear his opinion that American schools are not, one the whole, total failures. He argues that our education system does, in fact, educate nearly all students (he has the test results to prove it). However, it seems that this learning is often disrupted, disjointed, and ultimately stratified by issues of class, parental style, and social expectations. I could go on and on, but it turns out that Gladwell is a much better writer than I am.

The Precise Art of Taunting

At seven and ten years old, my nieces continue to amaze me on a regular basis. They are so creative and smart (but I'm not biased) that they are always catching me by surprise with one new idea or another. Most of the time this is quite wonderful to behold, but it can, from time to time, get to be kind of annoying too. On a recent road trip, M and I beside ourselves at their latest bit of cleverness.

Sitting in the back seat, they are bored by the four hour car ride. It's dark, so they can no longer read, and we don't have any laptops or dvd players in our car. They are becoming antsy. I try to engage them in word games and "what if" questions, but that only works for so long. Pretty soon they start pestering each other. The subject they argue about is indicative of their ultra-liberal magnate school education (which I love):

Small Niece: I'm making up a religion, and you can't have it. It's a religion about giants (she's done Greek mythology at school)

Elder Niece: Oh yeah, well your religion is stupid!

Small Niece: My religion has giants, and it's the best one.

Elder Niece: Oh yeah, well, I'm not respecting your religion!

Small Niece (incensed): You HAVE to respect my religion!

Elder Niece: NO I DON'T! I'm not respecting it! Ha! Ha!

Me: That's enough

Now you have to repeat that entire conversation from beginning to end about 800 more times. Then change my line to "I SAID BE QUIET RIGHT NOW!!!" (oh my goodness, I sound like my mother). The next part is what makes all this so amazing.

Elder Niece: I'm making up a hand sign that means "I don't respect your religion!"

Small Niece: Oh yeah, well I'm making up a hand sign that means "you can't be in my religion!"

They continued to battle out their fake theological differences (yes, via hand signs) for another hundred miles or so, but at least they were quiet. Who knows, on the next road trip, maybe they can debate the meaning of life using only shadow puppets.

Censorship

When I was very young, I remember the Dr. Seuss book, The Lorax, being banned from our public school library. That story shocks many people because Seuss is such a beloved, and harmless, figure. There is no nudity in Lorax. Nobody curses, no one is murdered, and none of the characters even mentions having two mommies. Nevertheless, after parent complaints, The Lorax was gone.

Why? Because I lived in rural Oregon in the early 1980's. The timber industry was busy shedding jobs, and many logging families (maybe half my little school?) attributed this to liberal forestry policies (hrm let's check, who was president then?). The Lorax included themes about ecological conservation, and this was unacceptable to many parents. Rather than simply preventing their own children from reading the hateful book, these parents felt the need to prevent everybody's children from reading it.

That, to me, is the most amazing thing about censorship. It's not about one person avoiding a certain book. It's not about keeping their child from seeing the book. It's about that person wanting to make this choice for everyone. This reminds me a lot of the gay marriage movement. If you, an individual, don't like gay marriage, then don't have one! Why in the name of everything important do you need to impose that belief on everyone else?

It is amazing that censorship still exists in our country, but it most certainly does. Usually, the excuse for this is to "protect the children." One of my favorite examples of this logic is from a school district in California who, the story goes, handed out copies of Fahrenheit 451 to it's 8th grade English classes. The books had the "naughty" words like "hell" and "damn" blacked out. The main theme of Fahrenheit 451? The horrors of censorship.

Top 100 Banned/Challenged Books in 2000-2007

1 Harry Potter J.K. Rowling
2 Alice series Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
3 The Chocolate War Robert Cormier
4 Of Mice and Men John Steinbeck
5 I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings Maya Angelou
6 Scary Stories Alvin Schwartz
7 Fallen Angels Walter Dean Myers
8 It’s Perfectly Normal Robie Harris
9 And Tango Makes Three Justin Richardson/Peter Parnell
10 Captain Underpants Dav Pilkey
11 The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn Mark Twain
12 The Bluest Eye Toni Morrison
13 Forever Judy Blume
14 The Color Purple Alice Walker
15 The Perks of Being A Wallflower Stephen Chbosky
16 Killing Mr. Griffin Lois Duncan
17 Go Ask Alice Anonymous
18 King and King Linda de Haan
19 Catcher in the Rye J.D. Salinger
20 Bridge to Terabithia Katherine Paterson
21 The Giver Lois Lowry
22 We All Fall Down Robert Cormier
23 To Kill A Mockingbird Harper Lee`
24 Beloved Toni Morrison
25 The Face on the Milk Carton Caroline Cooney
26 Snow Falling on Cedars David Guterson
27 My Brother Sam Is Dead James Lincoln Collier
28 In the Night Kitchen Maurice Sendak
29 His Dark Materials series Philip Pullman
30 Gossip Girl series Cecily von Ziegesar
31 What My Mother Doesn’t Know Sonya Sones
32 Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging Louise Rennison
33 It’s So Amazing Robie Harris
34 Arming America Michael Bellasiles
35 Kaffir Boy Mark Mathabane
36 Blubber Judy Blume
37 Brave New World Aldous Huxley
38 Athletic Shorts Chris Crutcher
39 Bless Me, Ultima Rudolfo Anaya
40 Life is Funny E.R. Frank
41 Daughters of Eve Lois Duncan
42 Crazy Lady Jane Leslie Conly
43 The Great Gilly Hopkins Katherine Paterson
44 You Hear Me Betsy Franco
45 Slaughterhouse Five Kurt Vonnegut
46 Whale Talk Chris Crutcher
47 The Adventures of Super Diaper Baby Dav Pilkey
48 The Facts Speak for Themselves Brock Cole
49 The Terrorist Caroline Cooney
50 Mick Harte Was Here Barbara Park
51 Summer of My German Soldier Bette Green
52 The Upstairs Room Johanna Reiss
53 When Dad Killed Mom Julius Lester
54 Blood and Chocolate Annette Curtis Klause
55 The Fighting Ground Avi
56 The Things They Carried Tim O'Brien
57 Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry Mildred Taylor
58 Fat Kid Rules the World K.L. Going
59 The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big, Round Things Carolyn Mackler
60 A Time To Kill John Grisham
61 Rainbow Boys Alex Sanchez
62 Olive’s Ocean Kevin Henkes
63 One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest Ken Kesey
64 A Day No Pigs Would Die Robert Newton Peck
65 Speak Laurie Halse Anderson
66 Always Running Luis Rodriguez
67 Black Boy Richard Wright
68 Julie of the Wolves Jean Craighead George
69 Deal With It! Esther Drill
70 Detour for Emmy Marilyn Reynolds
71 Draw Me A Star Eric Carle
72 Fahrenheit 451 Ray Bradbury
73 Harris and Me Gary Paulsen
74 Junie B. Jones series Barbara Park
75 So Far From the Bamboo Grove Yoko Watkins
76 Song of Solomon Toni Morrison
77 Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes Chris Crutcher
78 What’s Happening to My Body Book Lynda Madaras
79 The Boy Who Lost His Face Louis Sachar
80 The Lovely Bones Alice Sebold
81 Anastasia Again! Lois Lowry
82 Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret Judy Blume
83 Bumps In the Night Harry Allard
84 Goosebumps series R.L. Stine
85 Shade’s Children Garth Nix
86 Cut Patricia McCormick
87 Grendel John Gardner
88 The House of Spirits Isabel Allende
89 I Saw Esau Iona Opte
90 Ironman Chris Crutcher
91 The Stupids series Harry Allard
92 Taming the Star Runner S.E. Hinton
93 Then Again, Maybe I Won’t Judy Blume
94 Tiger Eyes Judy Blume
95 Like Water for Chocolate Laura Esquivel
96 Nathan’s Run John Gilstrap
97 Pinkerton, Behave! Steven Kellog
98 Freaky Friday Mary Rodgers
99 Halloween ABC Eve Merriam
100 Heather Has Two Mommies Leslea Newman

Car Buying for M Part 2: Playing the Harpy

A little while after our great test-driving extravaganza, M noticed another Subaru Forester XT in the paper. This one seemed to have all the features he wanted, and the trim package and color were a big improvement over the one we'd previously driven. Add these features to the significantly lower price, and we had to drive out and see what this car was actually like.

That meant a trip to a certain Seattle suburb. This is not a place where we normally spend a lot of time, but we soldiered through the traffic and found our way to the dealership filled with shiny new cars. Of course, we were not actually heading for the new car portion of things; no glossy Toyota showrooms for us. The used cars at this dealership were part of the much smaller, and much more utilitarian, Kia showroom. I warned M in the car that I planned to be the "bad cop," and so I put on my grumpiest face as the lot attendant first approached.

I let M do most of the talking as we were shown to the Subaru in question. Then, once we were on a test drive I started my show. "Why do you need a new car anyway? Your old one is perfectly good!" M almost jumped at my whiney tone and gave me a sidelong glance to check how serious I might be. I did my best to feign total innocence. I went on and on (hopefully not laying it on too thick) about how much the car cost, how we didn't need a new one, how the old one was still good, and how we shouldn't be spending money anyway. By the end, I was "wondering" if the car smelled funny. The very young lot attendant said nothing, but he heard everything I said.

After the test drive, M said he was interested in hearing more about the car, so a meeting was arranged with a more senior car dealer. This person was not immediately available (what a surprise!), so we spent a few minutes cooling our heels among the Kias (motto: crappy but cheap!). Finally, we were ushered to a cubicle festooned with sales award plaques. Clearly the lot attendant had warned his boss about us because the presentation we got was almost entirely directed at me. We heard all about the merits of the new car, the excellent price, the repair record etc. Anything to try and convince us (me) that it was a good buy.

I continued to look grumpy, but when he started talking about price I had my most shining moments acting out my mean wife part. What price did they want for the new car?! No that can't be right?! HOW MUCH?! Then I got to do the same for the proposed value of the old car (I wash shock! Shocked!). By the end of the whole thing, we got very much better prices for both, and I believe I helped out in some small way by playing the harpy.

Yes, yes, I know you may be thinking that we got a good deal because of the bad economy and the lack of car buyers in general. Perhaps I am just flattering myself by saying that my act helped. That may all be true, but I hate the way car dealers play with their "victims" and try every trick to manipulate buyers (one tried to tell my mom that she couldn't even go get lunch if she wanted the price to "stick"). Therefore, it amuses me no end to play with them in just the same fashion. No matter what the real reason, I've checked around, and we did get an incredible deal on that car. The next time you are considering a car purchase, think about pressing a friend or family member into service as your own personal bad cop.

Car Buying for M Part 1: Luxury Cars Disappoint

Not long ago, M decided that it was time for a new car. His old one has done good service low these many years, but it needed expensive repairs, so he decided it was time for something new. Well, not new exactly, but new to us. I'm delighted that M concurs with my belief that a brand new car is rarely worth the premium price. By some estimates, a brand new car loses 20% of its value by driving off the lot. In short, that "new car smell" comes at quite a price. But I digress

M decided to get a new car, but he wanted one that still had the practicality and AWD of his old Subaru. The question was, should he just buy another Subaru, or would it be more interesting to trade to something different? SUV's were right out from the beginning (need I explain?). Audi, Toyota, Volvo, Volkswagen, Infiniti, Saab, and several others have cars that met his criteria, but when we did a Consumer Reports search, some of these makes went out the proverbial window too. It seems that many cars aiming for the luxury AWD market do not fair so well on reliability ratings. With the options somewhat narrowed down, we moved on to my favorite part: the test drive.

The Subaru Impreza STI came first. Heading out, this is the car I thought M would probably buy, but he surprised me. The car is fast and sporty, it corners well, and it has AWD, but it had a turbo lag that wasn't much fun, and it had the curse of all Subaru’s: very poor leg room both front and back (there's also the clutch issue in my mind, but M doesn't seem bothered by that). Thus we walked away from the STI without buying.

Next came the Infiniti G30. Do you remember those Infiniti commercials with Jonathan Price? You know, the ones that are supposed to make you think of Infiniti's as suave and elegant and the epitome of controlled power? Yeah, not so much as it turns out. I really expected something special given the price and the hype, but the best thing I can say for this car is that it sounds really cool when you first turn it on (with a silly push button instead of a key). That throaty purr is not enough to make up for the fact that driving this car is no fun at all. Smooth and powerful sure, but also strangely heavy and unresponsive. I've also come to the conclusion that a tiptronic (at least the ones we drove) is just a fancy/smart automatic. I'll stick with a real manual (at least in cars that are meant to be sporty) thank you.

We declined to drive the Mitsubishi Lancer Evo 9 (which was stupid because it would have been fun to try once) because who wants to look that silly (plus it didn't meet M's criteria). We did not drive the BMW's, Volvos, Mercedes, Lexus, the RX-8 (sob!), the canary yellow Thunderbird or many of the other impractical or unreliable cars they had on that lot (I think maybe gas prices and the economy are helping people shed some of their sillier cars) In fact, by the end of that day, the only real contender on the list was a Subaru Forester XT in a most unlovely shade of brown. We went home without a new car.

On another weekend, we set out again, and this time we headed over to an Audi dealer. I expected the Audi dealership to be a funny place due to the level of snoots often put on by fancy car dealers. However, a very nice, low-pressure sales staff brought out an A4 for us to try. The Audi was certainly better than the Infiniti, but both cars lack the feedback that both M and I enjoy. The designers of these cars seem so focused on giving you a luxurious ride that they remove all "car" (feedback?) from the driving experience. I felt as though I could have been in an armchair watching a movie about driving. No thank you. I was all prepared to talk M down from buying such an expensive car, but I found it entirely unnecessary. Once again, we went home without a new car.

New Year's Resolutions 2009

In 2009 I resolve to:

1. call or get together with at least one friend or family member per week.

2. sit down with each Basic Block student at least once per week.

3. find at least one fun new activity to do with M (get your mind OUT of the gutter Dear Reader!) each month.

4. work on one significant garden project every week from March through October.

5. travel to Pittsburgh, C's birthday, and DISNEYLAND!

6. keep my door closed and my mouth shut at work.

7. write at least five times per week (projects for school, blog entries, letters, etc.).

8. work on one significant house project each week.

9. eat fewer foods that have extra sugar, extra fat, or more than five ingredients.

10. exercise for a total of at least four hours per week.

Goodbye 2008

What a year it's been!

On a national level this has been a very mixed twelve months with many ups and downs. For the first time in a long time, I feel like there might be hope for us as a country. Our economy is in tatters, but at least 50% of the country cared enough to vote for something different. I sincerely hope we're not too late.

Professionally, well, one just keeps on keeping on (if you know what I mean). It's hard to think in calendar years when you're on an academic schedule, but I realized that the whole bad business of the last school year really only happened in spring of 2008. I'm happy to say that things have largely died down. This is partly because feelings have actually cooled, and partly because I avoid putting myself in certain situations and interacting with certain people. Three things I am learning to keep: a low profile, my door closed, and my mouth shut. Work life may not always be this way, and for now at least I have achieved a tenuous peace.

Luckily, at the same time that work has been less than fun, I've had many events at home to be thrilled about. On a personal level it's simply been a wonderful year. Planning our wedding was fantastic, frustrating, exhilarating, and exhausting. Actually having the wedding was pure happiness. Married life has been a very enjoyable experience (oh Costa Rica!), and I'm really looking forward to many more years. One more heartfelt thanks to all our family and friends who've helped us out in so many different ways.

And so goodbye to 2008! I hope your year was at least good and possibly even great. I hope that next year treats you at least as well and possibly even better. New Year’s resolutions to follow in the new year.

Christmas 2008

Merry Christmas to all our friends and family near and far. I hope this is a warm and happy day for you, and that you enjoy all sorts of relaxation and fun. We are very much enjoying only the second white Christmas I can remember. The snow is falling heavily again, and I cannot think of a lovelier backdrop for a holiday celebration. Last night, after we ate Christmas Eve dinner, we went saucering in a little basin near our house. Could there be a better way to spend vacation time? I absolutely cannot believe that this is western Washington with all this snow around! Once again, merry Christmas!

Seattle in only 8.5 Hours

'Tis the season to visit out-of-town relatives, so, with my heart in my mouth, we set out on Friday to drive to Oregon. Actually, M did most of the driving, and we were pleasantly surprised to find most of the major roads were not too bad in spite of the snowfall that has blanketed the Seattle area. I think we made the trip in about five hours which is only half an hour longer than normal. We visited family and friends for three days and generally tried not to think too hard about what might be happening at home and in between. Then, yesterday, it was time to return to Seattle.

We set out from Corvallis just before 10am. For the first 30 or 40 miles, things were pretty good. Some light snow was falling, but the road was clear most of the time. Then we came to Salem, and the snowing started in earnest. By the time we came to Portland, you could not see any black on the road, and the traffic was moving at 0-10 miles per hour. Luckily, M really is a good driver (and we were lucky) because we really didn't have any terrifying moments. We saw many terrifying moments happening around us though.

People were slipping all over the place, and we witnessed more than one accident as it happened. We saw a large American car in the ditch with lights on, people sitting inside, and windshield wipers waving. We saw a Jeep that had skidded into a concrete divider, done at least a 180, and ended up facing the wrong way in the "fast" lane. Come to think of it, the worst (in terms of bone-headedness) drivers were all in Jeeps and red Jeeps especially.

One red jeep decided that he didn't want to crawl along in traffic, so he drove between two columns of cars with barely any clearance on either side. He kept having force his way into the row of cars when the gap narrowed, and this caused everyone around him to slam on brakes to avoid him. He ended up driving on the shoulder as well. Another red Jeep decided to bunny hop the traffic until he nearly got creamed by a semi that couldn't stop.

Snow seems to bring out the best and the worst in the average driver. Subaru drivers tend to be more sensible (I know I'm biased) even though they have better traction than most. The key to driving in this kind of weather seems to be remembering that ice is ice no matter what kind of car you're driving. A really thick, slippery patch of ice will cause ANY car, with ANY tires to slip. Besides, even if you are the world's best driver in the world's best car, you cannot control the people around you. Therefore, you still have drive with caution and not behave like a stupid wally (as M would say).

Anyway, we made it home safe, and the only bit of road that was too much for the Subaru was our own driveway. She got stuck half way up in the deep snow. Luckily, my experience with owning a silly, rear-wheel drive car stood me in good stead because I remembered how you can create traction by raking the snow into roughness. Sure enough, the car went up just fine after that. Only 8.5 hours to get home, and we are very glad to be here safe and sound.

Wal-Mart Sucks Again

I have never been a fan of Wal-Mart. In fact, I've refused to shop there for many years based on their terrible record on labor policies, censorship, and attempted refusal to sell birth control products. Now, it seems, there is another reason to hate them, and it's nothing you could possibly have imagined.

It seems that a lovely couple from New Jersey decided (a few years ago) to name their child Adolph Hitler (plus a last name). The father is a fan of Nazism and thinks the SS were a bunch of pretty cool guys. This poor child even has a sister named Jocelyn Aryan Nation. Now this part is not news. Whack jobs inflict horrible things on their children all the time, and I can only hope that poor little Adolph and Jocelyn grow up to think differently than their parents.

The story here is about little Adolph's birthday cake. The whack job went to several cake shops trying to get somebody to write "Happy Birthday Adolph Hitler" on a birthday cake. I'm glad to say that he was refused more than once, and has complained mightily about the "discrimination" against his son. Again, there's nothing much you can do to combat this kind of whack job (freedom of speech and all) except to socially isolate them for their unacceptable beliefs.

However, even social isolation eventually fell apart when Mr. Whack found a bakery to make his chosen cake. What bakery would agree to write that on a cake? You guessed it: the accommodating bakery was found in a Pennsylvania Wal-Mart. Thank you, Wal-Mart, for once again confirming my belief that you suck.

Oh Happy, Snowy Day!

11pm (last night) --- there was no snow on the ground, and no news of any school delays. It seemed that the weather people were in need of firing as their "100% chance of snow" turned out to be nothing at all.

5am (this morning) --- I happened to wake up (you never sleep soundly on a potential snow day) and look out the window. Only a tiny dusting of snow. I also looked at the district website, and found no news of delays.

5:30am --- The call from the phone tree assured me that we would, in fact, have a two-hour delay. Looking out the window there was a little more snow, but nothing that would make much of an impact.

6:20am --- Another call from the phone tree, and we were cancelled for the day. Looking out the window this time, and it was easy to see why they made the call.

10:21am --- I'm still in my jammies, and a beautiful winter scene is playing out outside the window. The snow is probably up to about 2 or 3 inches, and it is still falling thick and fast. The tiny, grainy flakes we had earlier have given way to fatter, fluffier ones, and my desire for real winter weather is slaked at last. After finishing my leisurely tea and blogging session, I think I will put on my marshmallow coat, and go for a walk to enjoy the scenery. All those prayers to the gods of winter must not have gone unheard after all.

PNW is COLD!

For those few readers not currently experiencing the deep freeze, the Pacific NW is having a little bit of a cold spell right now. Low temperatures in our greater Seattle area were in the low teens last night, and it is not expected to get much above 25 (or so) today. There is a dusting of snow on the ground in many areas, and it has taken on that glittery quality that only comes from frost after snow. The snow and ice hit is a very strange pattern, so we, up on our hill, have less snow and ice than some lower-lying places. While many of the roads are bare and dry, some are slick with compacted snow and ice. Parking lots, tiny side roads, and driveways are often the worst part of a given trip.

A two-hour delay from school was most welcome this morning since it allowed the sun to rise and shed some light on the patches of ice. At least it is very clear and sunny, so the picture outside the window is absolutely beautiful. However, I'm not sure how many people will actually be going out to enjoy the sun given the extremely low temperatures. The children are strangely calm as they wait to hear what will come out of the sky next. Some weather reports are saying there won't be a day above freezing for the next two weeks. Other reports suggest two days of snow later this week. One thing is certain, it will not be business as usual for the last week of school in 2008.

Twilight Movie Review

I've been so remiss! It's been weeks and I've forgotten to actually do this review. Since so many people have reviewed it already, it seems kind of pointless to go into details. Suffice it to say, I liked the movie version quite a lot, but still not as much as I loved the book. I AM one of those fans (hopefully a not-too-crazy one) who actually enjoyed the thing. I've had a great time watching my non-believer friends and family fall under the Cullen/Swan spell. Even some people who were DETERMINED not to like the story.

Things I did not enjoy were the soundtrack (in my head this is mostly a quiet story), the casting of Charlie (waaay too young) the casting of Rosalie (waaay to old) and the hair and makeup done on Carlisle (waaay too laughable). Nevertheless, the faithfulness to the original story impressed me, and I am very much looking forward to seeing the next movie come out in a couple of years.

I Like Tofurky

I actually do. I have no idea if it resembles turkey or not, and I really do not care in the slightest either way. I enjoy Tofurkey because it is warm and fragrant and it tastes nice on my tongue. My consumption of Tofurkey is is no way meant to:

-make a political, religious, or environmental statement

-make a judgement about what you are eating

-create a talking point about why I'm a vegetarian

-cause you to change the way you eat

-attack the meaning or historical significance of the day

In short, it's just shouldn't be that big a deal. Think of it as me choosing the peas instead of the green beans or the apple pie instead of the pumpkin. Or better yet, just don't think about it at all. It really isn't any of your business anyway. If you would like to ask a few polite questions, that's fine. However, don't view that as an opportunity to then explain "your side" about how awful, disgusting, or unnatural you think it is. You wouldn't come to my house and tell me I had terrible taste in furniture/pets/dishes/fashion/cars/husbands, so why would you think it was okay to malign my choice of food? Do us all a favor this holiday season and SAVE IT. Thank You.

Sincerely,

The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Vegetarians (SPCV)

Why Obama Makes Some Women Lactate

How often do I start a post by saying "Slate has this fascinating article..."? Well, there's no change in the routine today. Be warned, this time I'm taking on complicated (but really interesting) science content. It may not seem like hard science at first, but I promise you that it is. Science people, please do feel free correct anything you see amiss.

Slate does indeed have a great article about the famous Obama charm. Much has been made of the immense power he has over all types of people, and he's been called a thesaurus-full of words describing charisma. In this article Emily Yoffe explores the idea that Obama taps into a previously unrealized emotion called elevation. This emotion, to paraphrase deeply, causes people to feel uplifted, hopeful, and elated. It makes people feel connected to the object of their "elevation" and many people even feel "spreading warmth" their chests. In other words, you just can't seem to get enough of this person.

Doesn't this all sound kind of familiar? Wasn't there already an emotion like this? Wait, wait, it will come to me! Oh yes, I think that hopeful, elated, oooey gooey warm, connected feeling used to be called love! Yes love. Does this mean that people are in love with Obama? Millions of heterosexual male Obama fans might not like that idea very much. Perhaps it is too simplistic to say that people are in love with him. After all, there are many different kinds of love.

One of the studies mentioned in the article consisted of taking a large group of women with babies, and showing them a video. Half the women got to watch Obama, while the other half watched something else. Of those who watched Obama, a large portion suddenly felt the urge to nurse their babies. Why? The study's authors believe it's because the women experienced an increase in their oxytocin levels when they watched Obama speak.

Oxytocin is, of course, that chemical our brain produces when it want us to feel connected to someone be it a new baby, a new boyfriend, or even a president-elect. Perhaps it's not just that we love Obama, but that we have NEW love for him. You know this feeling. When our unconscious brain feels a need for a strong connection with another person, it feeds us large quantities of oxytocin (potent happy drugs) to make us seek out and maintain that relationship. Viola! Warm fuzzies whenever we see the object of our affection.

This all raises so many questions. The first has to be: why Obama? What is it about him that causes us to feel such "elevation" for him? Do our unconscious brains know something that we don't? Is he somehow gaming our natural systems to make us feel that he is deserving of an oxytocin benefit? Then there's the somewhat scary reality. Most of what I've read about the natural high of new love says that most humans have a "four year itch" where the happy drugs usually peter out.

If this is all true, what does this mean for Obama's chances for re-election in 2012? Perhaps, by that time, we will have learned to love him for himself alone. To ensure a successful re-election bid, maybe he should institute a policy of throwing his socks in the hamper, putting down the toilet seat, and being nice to our mothers.

Back to Normal Chaos

Okay, grades are posted, and all the aftermath has more or less settled. We also have most things about the new tri., such as seating charts, schedules, and expectations, worked out as well. Therefore, I'm starting to feel a little more normal. Of course it is the holiday season is also upon us, but that is mostly just fun. Now I intend to get back on the blogging bandwagon.

Digital Dog

I found this great quote online today:

from Quotes of the Day
"Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog." (Doug Larson)


It made me think of this excuse note that I received from a parent explaining why the kid could not turn in her homework:

Dear Mrs. Nitwit (not my real name ;)

Prudence (not her real name) will not be able to turn in her essay today because she was unable to print. It seems that my husband had a problem yesterday, and he couldn't get it up again until this morning.

Sincerely, Mrs. Patience

I showed this note all around school and found it to be an excellent judge of personality type. Some crack up with instantly while others simply stand there waiting for the punch line. One person went so far as to say "you actually find this amusing?" Needless to say, this guy could have opened soda bottles with his bottom.

Happy Birthday Mom

Today is my mom's 55th birthday. It is such a nice thing to have a mom; not everyone does, and I know I'm very lucky. It's an even better thing to have a wonderful, caring, kind mom. It's the absolute best to have a wonderful, caring, kind mom who is also young and fit and active. Given all this, my brothers and I are fortunate indeed. Happy birthday Mom!

End of Tri Madness

There are a few times of the school year when we all go crazy. The kids tend to lose their minds when we are just about to go on vacation, when we are having a social, or when one of our sports teams has a big game. Teachers, on the other hand, tend to go crazy just before grades are due. Yesterday was the last day of the trimester, and all through the school the teachers are glued to their desks and computers. Depending on when you cut off work (refuse to take any more assignments) you may be more or less pressed right at this moment. One way or another, all teachers must finish their grades within one week. Every spare moment goes to grading the last papers, entering comment codes, and negotiating the intricacies of posting grades in our fun, fun online system. Wish me luck.